We’ve all been or seen others getting friend-zoned, we’ve all heard the phrase, “I wish I could find someone like you to date,” and we know how it feels to read the signs wrong and be rejected.
But, before you even get to the stage where you ask her out, sometimes it’s necessary to reflect on whether she even wants a relationship with you.
Sometimes, people send out mixed signals, which can be hard to figure out. However, even if it’s confusing, there are some subtle (and a few not-so-subtle) signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you. This article gives you a hint of what these might look like.
What does it mean if she doesn’t want a relationship?
If she expresses a lack of interest in a relationship, it likely suggests that she’s prioritizing other aspects of her life at the moment. This choice doesn’t necessarily reflect negatively on you; people have diverse timelines and priorities when it comes to commitment.
It’s important to respect her decision and engage in an open conversation to understand each other’s perspectives better. Such discussions support clarity, helping both parties navigate relationship dynamics and ensure mutual understanding.
Every individual has their unique journey, and comprehending each other’s priorities is crucial for building connections that align with shared expectations.
17 clear signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you
If you’re sensing ambiguity and wondering if she’s not looking for a relationship, these 17 signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you might offer some clarity. Keep an eye out for these relatable indicators that could signal she’s not currently seeking a romantic connection.
1. Her future plans don’t involve you
If you’re friends with the girl you like, the topic of the future will inevitably come up pretty often.
Maybe when you’re hanging out at a bar or a brunch, you might have heard her make plans about where she wants to live or how many kids she wants. You might even overhear her talk to a few other friends of rooming with them in the future.
But one thing is common in these plans — you’re absent from them. This is one of the many subtle signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore. It could also be a sign that she’s not ready for a relationship and is, therefore, not making any relationship-related plans.
2. She never does anything for you
If someone likes you, they tend to do the most for you. They help you with things before you even have to ask. If you’ve noticed that she doesn’t seem thoughtful or doesn’t make an effort, it could be one of many signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you.
According to Maggie Martinez, a licensed clinical social worker:
When a woman likes you, she will give you small gifts or go out of her way to show you she is thinking about you.
3. She doesn’t care about your well-being
A sign she isn’t interested in you is if she doesn’t care for you. If you’ve noticed that she isn’t bothered by what you do and doesn’t help you out when you’re feeling sick, then it could mean she doesn’t like you.
4. She talks about other people
While sometimes women may talk about men in front of you to make you feel jealous, it’s easy to tell when this is not so. She may use this as one of the signs she is not serious about you.
As Maggie Martinez explains:
This could go either way: She could be trying to make you jealous, or she could truly just see you as a friend.
If she talks to you about how much she likes someone (and not how much someone likes her), then it’s an indicator that she doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore.
5. She doesn’t get jealous
If she doesn’t get jealous when you talk about other women but is merely interested as a friend, that could be a sign she is not into you.
If she appears to be happy or excited for you, then it’s a sign she doesn’t want a relationship and sees you only as a good friend.
6. She wants to focus on herself
Sometimes, if she’s going through a lot, she might brush you off and tell you she wants to work on herself. This may not be a direct dig at you. Research shows that cultivating self-love is important before getting into a relationship.
So when she says this, she doesn’t want to be intimate and is not ready for a relationship yet.
7. She friend-zones you
Getting friend-zoned is more common than you think.
If she says something like, “I wish I could find someone like you,” or “You’re so nice! Why can’t I find more guys like you?” it’s a subtle way to let you know she is not interested in you, or it’s a sign she doesn’t want a relationship with you.
However, sometimes friend-zoning can be more obvious and mean she’s letting you down easily.
For example, if you ask her out and she replies with “I just want to be friends with you” and completely stops talking with you and starts avoiding you, then it’s time to let her go.
These could be signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you or she is uncomfortable around you.
8. She never makes plans with you
You talk with a girl and make plans to meet. You come away from the conversation happy that you’re going to see her soon and that this could be the start of something new.
But at the last minute, she cancels on you. So you make more plans, but she keeps finding ways to back out of it.
This can be a sign she doesn’t want a relationship with you or a sign she is uncomfortable around you. In either case, taking a hint and moving on from her is the best thing to do.
Related Reading: https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/when-a-woman-gives-up-on-a-relationship/
This video discusses why these date cancellations happen and what might be causing it:
9. She doesn’t want to be intimate
If she avoids being intimate with you, it’s probably a sign she doesn’t want a relationship with you. This can be both physical and emotional intimacy. If you realize that she’s closed off and doesn’t open up to you, it could be because she doesn’t like you romantically and is feeling uncomfortable.
Social worker Maggie Martinez further explains:
Unfortunately, this could also mean she doesn’t feel that sense of physical attraction.
Lack of intimacy between the two of you in the early stages of dating could also signify she doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Research shows inter-intimacy, differences in levels of intimacy each partner requires, contributes to the relationship.
